This past longish holiday weekend provoked a lot of feelings for me both positive and negative. Let’s see if I can explain it.
A few weeks go via Facebook I discovered my good intern friend from South Africa (who is currently at home) was traveling to visit two of my fellow interns in Maryland for a week starting July 2nd. My first thought was it would be awesome to hang out with them. My second impulse was July 2nd was way too close to me leaving on July 8th and I’m way too cheap to travel to Maryland for only a day or two. After a few days I decided just on a whim to see what a flight to Maryland might cost on Expedia. I was rather surprised to see they were at a range I could handle. I soon hatched a plan to show up at airport right before her and surprise all 3. I would stay one night and most of two days. Very, very unlike me.
While I ended up caving and telling my one intern that I was coming, the others were quite confused by my texts the morning of July 2nd. What was I doing in Baltimore they wondered? It was lots of fun to see them and as an awesome bonus we all got to hang out for an afternoon with one of the co-founders of Thrive as well. I count the four of them as amazing, awesome women of God and close friends. It was truly a blessing to see them.
But now I sit here at the end of the 4th of July weekend just a bit depressed. I think it can be explained by one major thing. I have never been very popular or had a wide social circle but I have been blessed to gain many close, dear friends over time. The only issue is they are generally far away from me and I only see them in small chunks of time now. Part of it is my fault, I went to South Africa last year and now I’m going to the Czech Republic for another. But the main consequence of this is I don’t really feel at home anywhere. Granted I have loved being with my family the past few months but after seeing an old group of friends (whether it be my thrive, camp or college friends) it has always been hard the day after leaving them recently. I realize I don’t want to see these people two days, or one night. I want to see them everyday, hang out, talk, live life together with them.
And now here I sit about to start the whole process over again. And, as paradoxical as it sounds, I can’t wait. Another year (maybe more) to meet new people, make new friends, start new relationships and soak in all God has for me. I could be down about a lot of things but I think it is better to say that overall…I’m pretty blessed.