Over a year ago in South Africa I wrote an entry about relying on God. You can read it here.
I’m generally proud of what I write and rereading it again I think it made sense in my situation in South Africa. But compared to where I am now it seems rather naive and simplistic.
Relying on God isn’t this super fun, happy, awesome thing that you only get to enjoy when you are overseas. It’s not a monthly, weekly, or even a daily thing. It’s a moment-by-moment commitment of surrendering yourself to God. It can be hard and it won’t always (or even often) make you feel better when you do it. But it is necessity.
I’m facing things here I have never had to face before. I’m starting a new and daunting job in a country I have only been in two weeks. Comparing South Africa to the Czech Republic, the language barrier here is like the Great Wall to SA’s small little creek that you can simply jump over. I don’t like to think of myself as overly negative but the past two weeks have been a struggle with simply finding contentment with being here. It is difficult to explain.
I will say this though. God is here with me and he is what I need to lean on. I will be healed, I will teach my classes using awesome lesson plans that I create. I will get to know my students in awesome, profound ways. I will have opportunities to share Jesus with others. I will feel profoundly blessed when this year is complete.
It won’t be easy.
But I’m relying on God no matter what happens. It’s really all I can do.