A little over 6 months ago I got married. And now I know everything there is to know about having a great marriage.
But marriage is one of those weird things that is talked about and referenced constantly in society (especially if you are in your 20s or 30s on facebook) and yet you do not truly know what exactly you are getting into until it actually happens.
The past 6 months have been undeniably great and imperfect at the same time. Life is life, stress is stress, and sharing that with someone else is unsurprisingly complex. I hardly know anything yet about what being married really means but I do want to share a quick story that happened 2 days after our wedding that really crystallizes why, apart from everything else, this crazy marriage thing might be worth it.
I was teaching when we got married and so we delayed our “real” honeymoon 2 weeks until my Spring break. Instead right after our wedding we spent 2 nights at a bed and breakfast and than that following Tuesday I returned to classes. My commute than was 66 miles for a 7:30AM class start. That meant I did everything possible the night before to get ready. Shower, lay out my work clothes, and make lunch. Since I started working in a school the spring before I was accustomed to my routine. I did everything myself because, well I was a 29 year old adult. It was not always fun doing this but I prided myself on being responsible and I hated making a sandwich with crusts in my eyes at the 6AM hour.
And so, after our fantastic “just married” weekend we returned to our apartment, husband and wife, and I resigned myself to the fact that school was tomorrow and part of the glorious mystery of the marriage pact was having a lunch ready for the morning. I opened up the pantry door and the following interaction with my wife occurred:
Her: What are you doing?
Me: Making my lunch.
Her: I already did.
Her: Yes. Love you.
Me: Love you too.
I swear to you I started tearing up right in the pantry doorway. Such a small insignificant gesture, a spouse doing something for their mate, and yet it showed me so well what marriage was supposed to be. The past 6 months have been arguably more complicated than any in my life. But that small gesture from my wife sticks with me and reminds me of what marriage can and should be. Marriage is about love and commitment and life together for sure. But sometimes its just about making lunch.